Publication of this review is approved by player Малкавианин

INTRO (What to do?)

What should you do? You can't sleep because you did not like Him and it doesn't matter why - he might be trying to pick up your girlfriend or just behaving arrogantly, there is only one goal - to beat Him. But how? He is a pro and beats a lot of guys like you during training sessions and competitions on different tournaments. Our predecessors hunter mammoths and saber-tooths with sticks and stones. This means that you need a TRAP. I won't dive deep into details here, it takes so long. I thought over 12 combinations in 2 days and the TRAP plan was born in my Neanderthal head.

OPENING ('…the first move is half a game…')

So this is a sunny morning and everything goes as you planned. If you see that something goes wrong (like the car parked at the place you wanted to use as a battle position, or the turn is not yours) it is better to postpone everything. Your time will come, don't be in a hurry. A HUNTER must be able to wait. So far so good - THE PREY is just in front of THE TRAP and the main thing is not to scare it away.

1. Bishop Bxf3!, exf3!… "Hey, watch where you're going… oh, sorry, I know who YOU are… YOU are the sportsman … THE CHAMPION…"

Your push from the right should not be too aggressive, the time did not come yet, and the pawn exf3! Is a good option to calm the conflict down without picking a fight. A rooks early start - Rxh2?!, Nxh2, Qxh2+, Kxf1, Bxf3, exf3 leads only to losing it for the dominance on the left you're not sure you really want - Nxe4??, Rxa6, Bxa6, Rxa6, Bxb7, Rxa7 or Rxa5, the road to nowhere; - Bxf3! , Bxf3!, Bxf3!, exf3!, Rxh2?!, Nxh2, Qxh2+, Kxf1, Qxh1+, Kxе2 ; and especially Bxf3! , exf3!, gxg5!, fxf4!, Bxg2! , Kxg2, Rxh2?!, Nxh2, Qxh2+, Kxf1, Qxh1+, Kxе2 is better and can actually lead to you controlling the left flank after a series of strikes from both sides, but the fact that we will look as a one-legged pirate after losing all the pieces on the right, left no doubt from the very beginning.

THE GAMBIT ('the hook')

Before the battle remind yourself that pros are very cautious. If they feel deception or threat their strikes will be fast and ruthless, so it is best to think out a bait (a sacrifice) or a hook (the action that attracts attention), that would make them feel comfortable. For instance, no fighter will feel threat if their opponent's shoelaces come undone or their pants come down. In general, each case is unique, but without a 'hook' you risk suffering the first unexpected strike.

2. Knight Nxc4!!, rook Rxa6 "Oh, sorry, I got shoelaces come undone on my left shoe". Taking a pawn, threatening a rook - what can be better to calm a pro down that common moves? The answer is already here: actively moving the rook out of threat (the Rxa4 option is worse), taking a pawn and threatening a bishop.

3. Bishop Bxb7!? (initially I liked Bxd5? more), rook Rxa7 just in case for the future (you never know what to expect from teenagers), but still everything is like two good blokes talk on the street. THE PREY IS IN THE TRAP, but doesn't know about it, and the atmosphere itself (sunny morning, friendly teens, cars going as usual) - everything out there is to create a calm atmosphere of an ordinary life.

Was there a way out? I tracked some options:

• Nxc4!! , Nxe1! or Nxe3!, Nxa3, Rxa3, …
• Nxc4!! , Nxe1!, Rxh2?!, Nxh2, Nxd2??, Nxf1!!!, …
• Nxc4!! , Nxe1!, Rxh2?!, Nxh2, Qxd2!+, Kxf1, Qxh1+ or ( Nxd2?? +), Kxе2 …
• Nxc4!! , Nxe3!, Rxh2!, Nxh2, Qxd2!+, Kxf1, Nxe3!! +, fxе3, gxg5 …

All these options remove the prepared threat. However, I like the first one for simplicity and reason and the last one for determination to succeed.

THE BATTLE (middlegame)

All's ready. PITY is a feeling that inevitably distinguishes real pros from amateurs. No one, being sane, will take pleasure in something that will happen anyway. But the goal is the GOAL and it is not very common in the fighters community to say you loosened up.
4. Rook Rxh2!, bishop Nxh2. Lacing the shoelaces, getting up and using the energy of the body, you make an uppercut from the left, and then you want to defend your face from the strikeback, but, but STOP, you knew EVERYTHING, and you must deliver the decisive blow on the head: you cannot afford exchanging blows with a pro, cause this is the certain way to get an earful.
5. Knight Nxd2!!!, knight Nxf1. That's it. A cross-strike from the right over the opponent's left hand got where it should, and the knockout is near, and you can see in the eyes of the opponent that he is losing orientation and sees the hopelessness of the lost battle.
6. Nxf3+, Bxf3,
7. Bxf3, Nxh2,
8. Qxd2+, Kxf1,
9. Qxd1+ knockout (checkmate),
A series … a hook and a straight cross from the right, a jab with straight left hand and than a swing on the head of the falling opponent… ITS OVER.

Is it that the sudden loss of orientation did not allow the opponent to come round? No, you can still see in his closing eyes that he is still analyzing combinations:

• Rxh2!, Nxe1 (or Nxe3), Rxh1+, Bxh1, Qxh1+ knockout (checkmate),
• Rxh2!, Bxh3, Qxh3, Nxh2, Nxd2!!!, Qxf1, Qxh2+ knockout (checkmate),
• Rxh2!, Nxh2, Nxd2!!!, Nxg4, fxg4, Bxh3, Qxh3, Qxf1, Qxh2+ knockout (checkmate),
• Rxh2!, Nxh2, Nxd2!!!, Nxg4, fxg4, fxf4 (или fxg4), Qxh1, Bxh1, Rxh1+ knockout (checkmate),

CONCLUSIONS ('…oh, why do you do it…')

There is nothing IMPOSSIBLE, but there is a question "why do you need this"? I will tell the Don-Quixotes right away: this is not for you. For 'rednecks' who, for instance, want to find out if Yasser Sierawan (an Lebanese-born American grandmaster) is a cowboy, this might be a book to read in the hospital (he is a karate fighter as well). But I will tell something to all other ambitious people! If you don't understand why the pros are better than you, begin changing yourself. Battle Chess gives you a unique possibility to do that. Get prepared for the next en counter with Him, create a handmade wonder, be daring and you will definitely succeed. And a notice for the pros: don't rely on your power only, maybe the Neanderthals are already digging a HOLE which will be YOUR TRAP.

P. S. This review is not supposed to get anyone listed here insulted, including the Don Quixots. If this happened, I'm sorry about it! The idea was that there are no good or bad guys: we all have our flaws and virtues and these feeling fight within us just as on the chess board.

Best regards.
Sincerely yours, Татоша.

Today Татоша, calling herself a "Neanderthal", is the second (!) rated in the Battle Chess list with an average Battle rating of 1713. Since 1 March she played 136 Battle Chess games with different time check values, of which she lost only 9.